STARRAIN


Friday, February 19, 2010
Mummy... You just hurt me deeply again at 11:05 PM

For so many years I had never failed to help out my mum with the dishes during lunar new year. Even daily housework. Except this year I wasn't in when relative visit my house so no one was helping her out. Blame it herself that she did not teach her precious son to help. Blame it her husband had always been a selfish loser.

Today idiot mother say this to me: "Ah Yi" (my aunties) kids all very nice, will help out when Ah yi prepare food. @(*&#*@*@^*&^#*&^# (@*&(#&(*#&(*&#(*!&(*#&(*%**)(_ I AM SUPER SUPER ANGRY & FEEL LIKE KILLING MYSELF SO THAT SHE CAN REGRET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you blind? Lost memories?? Don't remember that I'm the one who help out every year?? Forgotten that I'm the only one who mop/sweep floor? Clean shitty toilet?? Forgot forgot forgot??? I believe all my aunt have eyes to see. I even remember one of the aunt praised me for being helpful. I always help you because I LOVE YOU! I don't want you to be tired. But you forgot. DO YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL!!!

I seriously cant take it anyone... Always angry with you and then because you are the one who treat it like nothing happen you will talk nicely like nothing happen. And I tell myself after all we are still family and I know you love me... So I will still love you.. Mum are still the best. Really, the incidents happens and really showed me Mother is still the best.

BUT Mum, do you hate me or what? Why are you doing this to me? Purposely driving me crazy? Do you know that I'm very sensitive? I'm so hurt every time... I will kill myself if without Tian Quan with me. I feel that nobody love me. The thought of killing myself is always there every time you treat me 'weirdly' yes weirdly. WHY? YOU HATE ME IS IT!!!!!???????

If one day I commit suicide, reason:
  • YOU. You are unfair. Not the extreme but repeating it again and again it's becoming extreme.
  • I don't have money to medicate myself. Those whatever illness I might had because you constantly kill my cells and boiled my blood.
STOP TEARING MY HEART. STOP! You pervert or what? I feel miserable!

I'm trying now to live more independent, I had already been, but now try to live like my life without you.

Bye



Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Little Love Left For Family - Mum at 1:46 PM

Love for them had been reducing as I grew older and filled with more HATE. I know it is no good. I'm feeling the worst than anyone in the family - Father, Mother, Elder Brother (Ignorance gang) and sensitive little ME.

Start with
Mummy. Cause I always cant help but still love her no matter how bad things are.

She is
not a heartless mum who ill treat me, she still love me. She too wacky for a mum? That kind you will label it with "SHENG JING ZHI". She and the rest of them are rather IGNORANCE till the TIP! I took about 10 years to have a firm answer for myself. She is just the same as many - Fucking love my brother more because he is a HE. Oh well... Not that extreme, but then, I'm that sensitive.

This blog will be the longest ever if I don't do it in bullet point, even if I do, I think it's still lllllonnng:

  • I seek her advice regarding a pervert, happened to board the same bus with me to work everyday, he looked at me like he is reading a book. Just look at you, motionless. And No, he wont look away at all. My mum replied: "You must be looking at him, that's why he looked back at you". She always got this thought that girls are bitches. And also, I look alike to my youngest Aunt, that is my mum's younger sister, who is a bitch, she sometime thought I behave like her too.
  • Me and my brother always had fights when we are still little kids. He kicked my stomach, punched my chest. Weak little me, can only crawl him and therefore he will have crawl marks after those fights. Till today my mum memories was that I bullied my brother =( Just because my crawl left marks on him and my injuries was nothing.
  • Mum suggested I pay for some utilities bills after I just graduated (paid school fees myself ) and worked for 3 months even though my brother had never contribute after years of working but have the money (borrowed some from me, largely sponsored by my Dad) to buy car. Mum said brother was poor. Yeah, poor after getting everything he wants. He is so spoiled with all the latest gadgets.
  • Human with dicks don't have to do housework and especially laundry because they CANNOT touch UNDIES! It was only when me and dad walk passed the laundry area she will quote: "EVERYONE in the family don't know how to clear their own laundry. "When being asked why brother don't need, she answered: He is a guy, how you expect him to touch those undies. Then mopping will have contact with undies meh? Why he cannot do huh??
  • She don't do housework except for laundries and dishes. I hand-wash my own pretty clothes though. For many years I was the Unappreciated Slave in the family. Totally driving me crazy and this is the ROOT TO THE HATE!!!!
  • Never care to note where I'm studying at, when's my exams etc because she was so filled with gossip at her workplace. That makes me feel like unwanted kid.
  • Brother can always sleep till late in comfort of an air-conditioned room. Because the air-con switch is in my mum's master-bedroom and only will be off when precious son awake. If he wake earlier than me, I will be in stuffy room and maybe I will wake up and faint and sleep and wake up and faint. When I asked mum why so unfair, I'll be blame for sleeping late hence waking up late and wasting electricity. I tried once when I woke up earlier than my brother and my itchy hand switch off the air-con switch... I'm blamed for switching it off causing my brother to wake up.
  • Last but not least, its never her fault, pointing fingers at others in the most ridiculous way. For example, there is this $1 private bus that I ride to work every working day. So I need $1 coins. My mum's job require her to bring home the profits and do some basic bookkeeping. For our interests she will exchange the coins with my notes so she don't have to carry the heavy coins the next day. One day, when I was about to sleep she asked me to exchange, so I said ok and please leave the coins ($1 x 10) on the dinning table. Obviously I have not give her my notes. Which I will the next day when I see my her again. The next day she return home, as usual complaints all unhappy events that happened. She announced that the account wasn't telly with a short of 10 bucks. Immediately I thought, she won't actually forgotten that she had change the coins with me last night. I really thought she won't. When I hand her the 10 buck... she said: " NI HAI WO YI ZI ZAO". In English means I'm to be blamed. And no, she wasn't kidding at all with the furious look as if I lost her sure-win Toto ticket. Arrghhhhh!! It was only a day before that she initiated to change the coins with me, she forgotten and it suddenly became my fault as if she don't know that I have not yet pass her the notes.
Too angry now. I will abruptly end this. Bye

Labels:


Bye



Sunday, February 7, 2010
Farewell - Last pic at 1:26 PM

Like this pic. Nice me, nice JY, nice umbrella ( I like umbrella that's red with wooden holder~ classic and sexy) except the background.


Tadah! Since you are leaving us... We shall label you with PIG Head!

Bye



Thursday, February 4, 2010
Farewell~ Jian Yong at 8:06 PM


Its so sad......... so sad.......

JY - easygoing, old-fashion Mr Nice, down-to-earth. I cherish JY as a friend. A good friend that will give you old-fashion comfort when you are down. Always chat with me on msn during office hours because I'm so free most of the time. Now he is leaving tomorrow =(

The feeling is like you have to part with your secondary school classmates and head to different institution. You know you will still contact each other, but it wont be as often as before.

I wanna be his stylist more than anything lolx. Because he like to dress in his own style = No style. No offense la. I thought you were 32 when we first spoke. Hahaha... Very surprise you are actually the same age with me!

JY, I'm very sorry about that period when I'm pissed off with you. Anyway I know you know the reason la. Then why kept asking why after that?? Don't JIA JIA sometimes ok... I don't like. =X
Opps.. that time I thought Rotten Banana(the one in our engineering department) was a nice guy and I told him about it. So naive, so regret. I'm sorry. He is so Fucking JIAN lo. Act gentlemen and kept promoting himself to me all that all that.. I will blog about him soon!!

Oh ya, hope you enjoy the KFC today! To end this... Here's some of the pics taken today:


Bye




Abt starrain

Are you ready to play?
Liu XinYu that's my name which also means Meteor Rain but I prefer it as StarRain
I love Stars, Rain, Photography, Piano and Arts..
I'm extremely short..I think I have split personality...
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